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    Home»News & Politics»Comment»Don’t be silly, protect your willy! – Play it Safe
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    Don’t be silly, protect your willy! – Play it Safe

    J.P. BebbingtonBy J.P. BebbingtonMay 12, 2015No Comments2 Mins Read
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    I’m afraid it’s come to that moment when we need to talk about sexual health. But first, let’s just remind ourselves what sex is: when two people love each other very much they… No? Okay, then. You surely know what I’m talking about, and if you do, you’ll know how important it is to play it safe.

    Cases of HIV have doubled in the last ten years, and there are now 100,000 HIV sufferers in the UK. One in Five of those are undiagnosed. Other sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including chlamydia, gonorrhoea and syphilis are on the rise.

    Many STIs can be treated but some, like Herpes, are incurable.

    It makes sense, therefore, to take measures to prevent it.

    There are many types of contraceptives – the coil, the pill, implants etc. – which can be used to prevent pregnancy, but perhaps the most widely available, and least invasive form of contraceptive is the humble condom. They can come in either latex or lambskin, and are the most effective contraceptive for preventing the spread of STIs. Use them.

    Now we’ve got that serious bit out of the way, here are some of the worst condom jokes I could find:

     

    Encase that torch before you paint her porch
    After detection sheath your erection
    Before you penetrate hide your magistrate
    Constrain the little head before you stick it in the shed
    No glove, no love.
    Don’t make a mistake, cover your snake
    House your Noodle, then release your strudel
    Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener
    When in doubt, shroud your sprout.
    It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
    Pouch your associate then go fornicate
    Cage that snake then shake and bake

     

    HIV House love sexual health
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    J.P. Bebbington

    Comment Editor 2015/16

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