The Never Ending Sofa Sale!


Did you know that double savings are now on at DFS where there’s a sofa for everyone? At CSL, the sofa specialists, your perfect sofa is now half price! And at SCS you can save up to half price in the Blue X sale!

I like to think that this is the reason I stopped watching tv. In reality I just don’t have time and to be honest I’m quite glad of that. The constant stream of sofa adverts is just too much to take.

I don’t think I would mind too much if they were actually advertising some kind of deal but it seems as though not only will the sale never end but we will never be able to afford one. Don’t be tricked by the ‘buy now, pay later’ offers either; the likelihood is that the sofa will be in a skip by the time you’ve paid it off.

Just think about how annoying those fake smiles plastered all over prospectus’ are and times it by twenty. Not only do they have dogs jumping all over your bankrupting sofa but those smiles are not true to life. Nobody is that happy after they visit a sofa warehouse and empty their piggy bank.

And then there’s the songs. I remember not hating, like would be too strong of a word, the Nickelback ‘Rockstar’ song when it first came out. Then it was butchered by DFS. Just hearing that song makes me want to throw a £6 a month (over the rest of my life) sofa across the room.

I don’t even know who to blame anymore. Is it the tv companies allowing this drivel on between their programmes? Is it the people encouraging them by buying the goddamn sofas? Or is it some punishment for a former life I may have lived?

Either way, great gods of the sofa  world please stop spending all the money you trick people into spending on making gut-wrenching, repetitive, life draining, piece of sh*t adverts.


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