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EXCLUSEIVE: Seren proofreaders discovered locked in basement

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A group of 12 proofreaders have been found locked away in a secret basement under PJ Hall, police can confirm.

Investigators were at the scene at 1 p.m. this afternoon when passers by called emergency services after noticing activity beneath the PJ floorboards.

It’s rumored a heated argument about the correct use of a semi-colon could be heard from below the foundations of the building; the debate has yet to be resolved.

A past Seren sub-editor has commented: “They went down there to look for a dictionary to check whether they should have used effect or affect in a sentence and that’s affectively how it all started. I never saw them since.”

The proofreaders, belonging to Seren – Bangor’s Student Newspaper, have allegedly been trapped there for over 5 years.

They were pulled from the basement. Many of them still wearing Varsity 2012 merchandise.

On leaving the basement, one Proofreader said:

“When it happened I was watching this great video on my new HTC phone, don’t know if you’ve heard of it? It’s called Gangnam Style. Then everything went black. Next thing you know I’m in a basement.

“It was very boring down there, even with 12 people. We tried playing word association but we kept running out of words… Eye spy was a non-starter really.”

Scientists from across the world have put the miraculous survival of the proofreaders down to the scarcity of the student diet, explaining that the student digestive system evolves to suit their budget.

“In full-time students, studies have suggested that a grab bag of cheese and onion crisps can sufficiently nourish for two years, perhaps three. With this considered, I see no reason why a reheated Chow Mein or £3 Meal Deal couldn’t last for half a decade,” said a Dietologist.

The reaction to the proofreaders’ return is one of relief, as their presence at Seren has been sorely missed.

One proofreader, disgusted by spelling errors over the last 5 years, has said:

“It’s appalling really. I can confirm if we’d have been there this wouldn’t have happened. Sometimes they’re even misspelling one syllable words.

“There’s some absolute howlers. An article about ex-England striker Pizza Crouch. A health article about dealing with mindgrains. I think the worse one I’ve seen is a a review of a ‘seizure salad’.”

The Seren Editor has yet to comment.

April Fool’s Day.

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Finnian Shardlow

Deputy Editor 2017-18
Music Editor 2015-17

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