During the festive period a lot of love has been shared, gifts exchanged and cheesy cracker jokes fake-laughed at, so you need a break from all this show of emotion, no chance. The most romantic day of the year is upon us. I can hear many singletons vomming with the mere mention of V-day, but shut your hate for all things heart-shaped outside as I wont be blabbing on about love all the way through. Because it doesn’t deserve a whole page, as sometimes love sucks! So snap off those icicles from your chin and cozy up in your humble abode and read on.
It’s the month the singles hate the most, February. No need to explain further. If the hottest chick in LA, Miss Jennifer Anniston, can’t seem to get a loyal partner to remain by her side for longer than a month then what hope does that give everyone else, pfft.
The single ones amongst us, now is your time to smirk. So one half of a cosy double is stood freezing their delicates off glaring at the shop windows drowned in giant love hearts and red glitter, couples merrily skip out hand in hand in their ‘bubble of love’ and you have empty pockets. Damn those Christmas socks you bought your Grandad and those Rhubarb and Custard sweets you so sweetly purchased for your denture-filled Grandma.
Fear not, behold some budget buys to make this day less painful;
– I feel I should start with the thing I was most excited about finding. Your partner lays in bed mid-morning, hair like a dogs butt and dribble down their cheeks, now is the time to head downstairs and get out your ‘I Love You’ toast stamp for one hundred pennies, yes, that’s right! One tiny great British pound from the joy that is Poundland. They are adorable, you push the stamp onto the un-toasted bread and put it in the toaster (Duh!), wait a little, then up pops the eye-wateringly beautiful ‘love toast’, and the rest you know what to do, Ooh Err.
– I’m going to squeeze in the tightest option now and get it out of the way, a 7p Valentine’s card from Asda, yes 7p, and don’t blame me if you get slapped. That is all.
– The most romantic I believe would be to cook a meal, no cheesy beans on ‘love toast’ doesn’t count. Before you go out buying ingredients like crazed-Jamie Oliver, head to www.studentrecipes.com where you can enter the things you have already in your shelves and fridge, and it will then create a meal for you using those things. If all you have is beans and an old crusty tin of rice pudding then get your shoes and coat on, because you will be going food shopping. A basic dish is Tuna Pasta Bake (drop the tuna if you don’t like it) and there are plenty of recipes online for this.
– And a few more ideas are a romantic candlelit massage with any body lotion you have lying around, grab a piece of paper and DIY a Valentines card Art Attack style or the biggest cheese-ball idea which could turn out to be the cutest, is to make a CD of your favourite songs or love songs.
However, if your student loan has just come through and your bank account is lucky enough to be out of your student over draft, then go more wild and pair my ideas with gifts that stretch past the student budget.
To finish, us couples deserve a break from the abuse from singletons so let us enjoy this day in peace, and vom quietly please.
