What?! Has anybody noticed this?
According to local student David Davis, Main Arts is just not there. At all.
“I decided to go on a walk and maybe see the university I allegedly still go to. I was having trouble finding it in this big field when I stepped through the charred ribcage of the librarian and realised what had happened,” said Davis.
Absolutely baffling. Online lectures have been entirely unaffected, with lecturers working from home fully unaware of the disaster over the past two weeks.
With news of the incident spreading fast, a group of undergraduates have formed a protest group demanding partial refunds of their tuition.
“With the pandemic on, getting an impromptu version of the Open University was inevitable, but now I can’t even look at the building I paid to make Hogwarts jokes about,” said Barbara Barbinson, a student protest leader.
“I haven’t left my flat in a month except for groceries, and there’s been so much on the telly. I just didn’t have time to notice a raging inferno engulf our institution,” said a first-year protester who wished to remain anonymous.
The university has been quick to reassure the public that the student experience will not be affected by the university ceasing to exist.
Inquiries are being made into the possibility of a mass exodus to Wrexham, to study whatever it is they study over there. Nursing?
