We’ve all been there, flicking through the pages of Cosmopolitan magazine secretly waiting to hit the sex and relationship section, wanting to spice up your sex life or your relationship with your other half. But what happens when Cosmopolitan take it too far… Cosmo has long been known for its weird, implausible and sometimes downright baffling sex advice. You know the ones, the pages filled with strange tips for the bedroom and those exotic sex positions that no one but an Olympics gymnast could do! Well for nothing but a laugh I have tracked down the sex advice from Cosmopolitan magazine that have amused me the most over the years.
Have you ever thought what could I eat off my boyfriend’s penis? Well if you have Cosmo has you covered suggesting you could “Slip a donut around his penis, and slowly and seductively eat it off”. I love donuts like the next person but I don’t know about you but that doesn’t sound too appealing to me!
Speaking of literally spicing up your love life, one issue actually suggested to “sprinkle a little pepper under his nose right before he climaxes. Sneezing can feel similar to an orgasm and amplifies the feel good effects” I don’t know about you but when I have a sneezing fit in a lecture it certainly doesn’t bring me feel good effects!
This one has to be the most absurd, “press a fork into different parts of his body (firmly, but don’t break the skin)” I like how they have to tell you to not break the skin, like we are all murders or cannibals in the bedroom.
The final one is just plain stupid and frankly a waste of ice cream. ‘Feed each other ice cream in the dark. Not being able to see means more spilling, which means more licking up the mess” No it means more washing for me cause I’ve got ice cream all over my bed sheets.
Cosmopolitan will forever keep us entertained with its bizarre ways of getting us into and running out of the bedroom.