Facebook Twitter Instagram
    Trending
    • Interview with the Vice-Chancellor
    • Country Highlight: The Netherlands
    • If You’re Moving Back Home After Uni …
    • Jane Austen in Lockdown: How her six novels are more relevant than ever
    • All About … Period Poverty
    • My Veggie Journey: How not being strictly Vegetarian is OK
    • Watch with Pride: Your Top TV Picks this Pride Month
    • Globe Trotting on Screen: Your Guide to Summer 2021
    Facebook Twitter Instagram YouTube Flickr
    Seren
    • News & Politics
      1. Local News
      2. UK News
      3. Uni News
      4. World News
      5. Politics
      6. Comment
      7. Business
      Featured

      SABB Election: The Full Result Breakdown

      By Emily ReadMarch 20, 20210
      Recent

      Interview with the Vice-Chancellor

      May 23, 2022

      Retro? Chip shortage may bring vintage tech to your car.

      May 6, 2021

      Manizha – the artist causing a stir as the Russian representative for Eurovision 2021:

      May 6, 2021
    • Arts & Culture
      1. Books
      2. Games
      3. Film
      4. Music
      5. TV
      6. Creative Corner
      Featured

      Bangor alumni podcast earns Hollywood cameo & BBC features

      By Amelia SmithMarch 7, 20210
      Recent

      Jane Austen in Lockdown: How her six novels are more relevant than ever

      July 7, 2021

      Watch with Pride: Your Top TV Picks this Pride Month

      May 17, 2021

      Globe Trotting on Screen: Your Guide to Summer 2021

      May 16, 2021
    • Lifestyle
      1. Fashion
      2. Food and Drink
      3. Social
      4. Health and Beauty
      5. Travel
      Featured

      Country Highlight: The Netherlands

      By Emily ShoultsMay 6, 20220
      Recent

      Country Highlight: The Netherlands

      May 6, 2022

      If You’re Moving Back Home After Uni …

      August 3, 2021

      All About … Period Poverty

      May 17, 2021
    • Discovery
      1. Science
      2. Environment
      3. History
      4. International
      Featured

      Brewing up a Storm: The History of Guinness

      By Emily ReadMarch 20, 20210
      Recent

      Manizha – the artist causing a stir as the Russian representative for Eurovision 2021:

      May 6, 2021

      Japan plan to release radioactive water into the ocean

      May 6, 2021

      The link between the AstraZeneca vaccine and blood clots

      April 29, 2021
    • Sport
      1. Varsity 2019
      2. Varsity 2018
      3. Varsity 2017
      4. Varsity 2016
      5. Varsity 2015
      6. Varsity 2014
      7. Varsity 2013
        • Varsity 2013 Results
        • Varsity 2013 – In tweets
      Featured

      Bangor Muddogs’ American Football: a young woman finding her place

      By Jade HillMarch 23, 20210
      Recent

      The 48-hour rise and fall of the European Super League

      April 27, 2021

      The European Super League is announced

      April 19, 2021

      Formula 1’s ‘Drive to Survive S3’ is released

      April 7, 2021
    • Students’ Union
      1. Union News
      2. Societies
      3. Volunteering
      4. Clubs
      Featured

      INTERVIEW: Be Period Positive

      By Caroline CartmillMarch 17, 20210
      Recent

      Bangor University Feminist Society

      March 30, 2021

      INTERVIEW: Be Period Positive

      March 17, 2021

      LGBT History Month in Bangor

      March 4, 2021
    • Issues
      • Current Issue
      • This year’s issues
      • Last year’s issues
      • Seren Archive
      • Seren Teams
    Seren
    Home»Lifestyle»Fashion»How Lockdown Made Me Present More Alternatively: A Personal Essay
    Fashion

    How Lockdown Made Me Present More Alternatively: A Personal Essay

    Tessa AstBy Tessa AstMarch 28, 2021Updated:April 6, 2021No Comments4 Mins Read
    Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Share
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email

    I‘ve been enamoured with playing around creatively with make-up for a couple years now but over the last year, during the various lockdowns both in Germany and here in Wales that heavily limited my social exposure, I have noticed a shift in how I approach the pastime and my attitude towards it.

    I anticipated, that with hardly anywhere to go, my desire to put on makeup would decrease, and I honestly thought of this as a good thing for my skin and perhaps even my confidence. After all, I’m not one to downplay the more problematic aspects of the makeup culture and industry; the way that many women don’t feel like themselves without it or how it’s increasingly marketed towards young girls. I was surprised to find that the opposite happened. I wouldn’t put on my makeup first thing in the morning but I did put it on almost every day nonetheless. And instead of relying on tried-and-tested looks I would try out new ideas, hone my skills and create more and more outrageous looks. Instead of doing my makeup in preparation for events, I would take time in the evening to do my makeup, as the event.

    I thought about this a bit and I think I figured out why that happened.

    I am a person that defines herself heavily over her presentation, for better or worse. Lockdown created an unprecedented situation where two contrasting things were happening:

    On one hand, I believe most people at least partially create their identity through their appearance, they show their affiliation to certain (sub-)cultures, socioeconomic groups and communities, and this is something that we are used to and that is a source of validation and self-reflection for us. Heaven is other

    people. So I was missing a form of self-expression that might be outwardly superficial but is ultimately about who I am and who I want to be. This in turn made me perform it more often and more intensely even if only I and occasionally the handful of people that follow me on Instagram or TikTok would see.

    On the other hand though, the lack of social exposure, and with it all the pressure to conform that comes with it, weakened its grip on me. Not being around people who I suspect would not be a fan of some of my more alternative looks meant that there was no reason anymore for me not to try them. I’ve never been someone who let what other people thought of me stop me from doing what I want too much but it is foolish to assume that I was completely immune to any social pressure or beauty standards. And thus, alone in my bedroom, I felt empowered to try out a range of alternative make up looks, as well as experimenting with edgier and more masculine styles, some of them as part of cosplaying male characters (with fake facial hair and everything). I don’t think I would have leaned so far into it if I would have been more concerned with whether people thought I was pretty or attractive.

    I was not surprised to hear of so many people (mainly on TikTok) that during the lockdowns felt less pressured by gender norms and discovered that they wanted to present less in line with their assigned gender or use different pronouns or outright realised that they are not, in fact, cisgender.

    While I’m not a psychiatrist, I also believe that the fact that I intuitively started presenting edgier (as opposed to just generally less conforming) could very well be a manifestation of the desire to be stronger and scarier in the face of a difficult, intimidating year where being soft and appealing just didn’t cut it.

    Considering all this I think this might be one of the very few things about the often heartbreaking isolation and difficult situations we have all gone through in the last year that is, ultimately, beautiful. I believe I have learned a couple things about myself and how I want to be seen and I cannot wait to fully re-enter society more in line with that and with a newfound confidence.

    Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Tessa Ast

    Fashion Editor | 19-21

    Related Posts

    Country Highlight: The Netherlands

    May 6, 2022

    If You’re Moving Back Home After Uni …

    August 3, 2021

    All About … Period Poverty

    May 17, 2021

    Leave A Reply Cancel Reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    MORE INFORMATION
    • ABOUT
    • ADVERTISE
    • CONTACT US
    • GET INVOLVED
    • MEMBERS
    Links
    • Bangor University Bangor University
    • Google+ Google+
    • Undeb Bangor Undeb Bangor
    About

    Seren is Bangor University Students’ Union’s English Language Newspaper

    We have editorial independence from both Bangor University and Bangor Students’ Union. Seren is written by students for students and we’d love you to get involved!

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.